Let’s be real, there are things that our spouses say and do that drive us CRAZY. In those moments, our nag sirens come on strong where we feel we just “have to” say something. We need to remember there’s a right place and time to address issues.
Last week we talked about Married Talk-Differences but now let’s discover 3 secrets to a happy marriage. The first step is that we want our spouses to be who God has called them to be. Secondly, we don’t want to just tolerate our spouse. Third, we want our marriage to thrive!
When you really get to know a person, you can see their flaws and everything little thing they need to change. When it’s your spouse, there’s an even higher level of awareness of flaws that others may never see. But how can we come to a place of having a happy marriage?
Instead of constantly nagging our spouses, we need to let them be. It’s more productive to have a kind 1 on 1 conversation about an issue if need be but then let it go. It’s not okay to be jumping down their throats on any little thing you don’t like.
Here are 3 secrets to a happy marriage:
- Pray for your spouse’s weaknesses instead of continually hounding them about it.
- Speak positively into your spouse’s life instead of primarily negative words.
- Treat your spouse like the person you want them to become.
God brings a man and woman in marriage to compliment each other. They have different strengths where the other has weaknesses. Given the responsibility of marriage, we are to protect each other’s weaknesses and encourage our strengths.
There is power in the words we speak so much so that the Bible says life and death are in the tongue. Speaking positive words will bring life into your spouse, your home, and wherever you go. As Christians, we aren’t called to speak death but to encourage others and be a light.
You’ll know when the right time is to discuss irritants if your patient and bite your tongue in the heat of the moment. The right way of handling things involves a kind attitude and loving words. Don’t talk to your spouse like they’re a 3-year-old toddler that needs some sense.
Stop bad mouthing your husband to your friends. Stop jumping down his throat anytime you feel like it. Instead, start bringing your spouse’s weaknesses before the Lord and encourage him to his face.
You want your husband to feel loved, respected, and appreciated. You want him to feel like you’ve got his back, not that you’re going to attack him. This is the more effective and productive approach.
If we treat our spouse like an honorable and successful man, he will most likely rise to the occasion. No man is perfect and Lord knows you and I aren’t perfect women either. But mountains will move in your marriage when you stop nagging.
The nagging behavior seems to come from a deep seeded fear or a need to be in control. It causes dissatisfaction and contention in any relationship. Ultimately God is the judge of us all. We need to let God keep that role and stop condemning our spouse.
Maybe you aren’t the nag in your marriage. Maybe it’s your “better half”. If that’s the case, lead by example. You just might be surprised by the results.
Don’t tolerate constant nagging. Don’t get me wrong, you want open communication about your desires and your spouses but constant nagging is where you HAVE TO draw the line. You do this by being kind but firm if your spouse is going on a tirade.
Let them know it’s NOT okay for them to constantly correct or belittle you. If they have something they want to discuss with you, they can if they are kind. They can speak kindly to you or they cannot speak to you at all until they are nice.
God wants to release you and me from these burdens that we’re carrying. He wants to give us peace in place of fear. Lay it all at the feet of Jesus and let Him know everything that is bugging you. It’s time to replace fear with faith.
Reflection
I urge you to remember these 3 secrets when you interact with your spouse in the upcoming week. You may not think that you nag but take notice of whether you are encouraging your spouse or not. If you’re not, you better get on that if you want God’s best for you in marriage.
“Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.” Proverbs 16:24
A Prayer For You
Lord Jesus, thank You for this reminder. Please give me discernment of whether or not I’m nagging my spouse. Replace my fear with faith. Replace my negativity with grace. Show me how to treat my spouse the way You’ve called me to. In Jesus’ name, amen.
What do you think makes a marriage successful?
Stay hopeful!
