Are all men Sexist Pigs? I used to think so. My childhood trauma and experiences dating guys in adulthood didn’t help. I couldn’t trust a guy other than my grandpa and some other family members.
My Dad’s words left us (Mom, Sister, and myself) feeling so insecure about our bodies, that it’s a battle we fight to this day. He also talked so disrespectfully and meanly to my Mother all of the time. Granted, he was this way with his guy friends as well if they spent enough time together.
I’m not trying to make my Dad look bad, I’m just sharing the truth of what happened behind closed doors with our “happy family”. My point is that I used to hate men and it came from that childhood trauma with my Dad.
Fast forward to high school and college, and I dated some guys who were nice at first. They played a good boyfriend part for a few weeks or even a few months. They said they were “Christians” so that had to be true right? But then I would end up finding out they had lied about some serious things. I was hurt badly.
I had a seriously bad taste in my mouth from guys and thought the good ones were either married or didn’t exist at all. Then I met my husband. He and the men in his family showed me there ARE good guys left. Also, some of my Mom’s coworkers at a church headquarters proved to be decent.
Everyone’s experience is not typically the same. I hated men and that was something I had to deal with and God helped me be free of that because it was only hurting myself. See my post about how I overcame anger called “Look What You Made Me Do”.
So when I say “good” man, what do I mean? My definition of a “good” man is when they have these strong character qualities:
- Kind
- Respectful
- Honest
- Hard worker
- Caring
Of course, I could list more but these 5 traits to me make up a “good” woman or man. I’m a Christian so obviously my number one quality is that they have a heart for God and others.
I believe pop culture has portrayed men in such awful light. They aren’t all sexist pigs! Men were designed by God to be leaders of their homes but society has skewed it. Bad experiences, like I had also skewed the fact that there are “good” guys out there.
I’ve seen so many movies that make bad boys look attractive. It’s like they’re trying to tell girls what they should be attracted to in a boy. At the same time, they make guys feel like being a good guy will never pay off for them. I don’t know about you but I’ve never been attracted to bad guys.
Despite pop culture’s best efforts, there are plenty of good men out there. Ladies, we don’t give guys enough credit. So many ladies fall for the jerks instead and wonder what happened. If you’re meeting guys in bars or ignoring red flags you see, it probably isn’t a match made in heaven.
Men don’t need to be torn down and belittled for being born a man. It seems media has almost left men feeling this way. People don’t have to assert their own bad experiences from childhood and believe every man is the same as I did.
As wives, we feel the need to change them into being more like us or who we think they should be or is that just me? It’s okay if they have different interests or have an opinion of their own. Let them be men! Manipulation and nagging aren’t sexy on anyone.
Manipulation and nagging aren't sexy on anyone.Click To TweetMen were created by God differently on purpose. Men and women together have the complete package. Meaning, wives make up for areas that their husbands lack and vice versa. But together in marriage, we are better as one.
Let’s not buy into this pop culture movement and quit hating on men. They aren’t guilty until proven innocent like I used to think. Let’s encourage men to be who God created them to be. Men have a lot of responsibility and pressure as it is, let’s not add to it.
At the heart of the matter, I believe that we should treat all people (all genders, races, ethnicities, etc.) with compassion and respect as Jesus would. He loved us and died for us while we were still sinners.
What are your thoughts on men being hated on by society?
Next week I’ll be talking about the role of women in society today and how it has been skewed.
Stay hopeful!
6 Comments
I am not sure men are being hated on by the society. Men seem to be more privileged than women in every society. I think it’s more of a stereotype issue. Every society have been brainwashed with gender stereotypes and the case you presented is one of the few negative gender stereotypes affecting ‘good’ men.
Interesting and valid points. I can see that. Yes I’m speaking to my personal experience and of people I know.
It seems to me that generalizations can be wrong:
. all the men,
. all women,
. all etc.
There are about 7.5 billion people on the planet, and there is all, since barbarism until civilization.
Therefore, it takes a more careful look to identify possible differences and nuances in the middle of all; and thus avoid incurring errors in judgments that may hinder us our necessary and healthy adaptation and conviviality in the midst of everything.
And this is just my point of view, and as I said, subject to focus adjustments.
Yes exactly, I agree with you that generalizations can be wrong. Everyone’s experience is not typically the same. At the core of the matter, I believe that we should treat all people with compassion and respect as Jesus would. He loved us and died for us while we were still sinners. Love instead of hate is the message. I hated men and that was something I had to deal with and God helped me be free of that because it was only hurting myself.
14 I have given them thy word; and the world hath hated them, because they are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
15 I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world, but that thou shouldest keep them from the evil.
16 They are not of the world, even as I am not of the world.
17 Sanctify them through thy truth: thy word is truth.
John 17:14-17 (KJV)
Amen!