Does god want me to fight for my marriage? How can you fight for your marriage when you feel like giving up? I’m sick of hearing that so many couples are getting divorced. What happened to the marriages that lasted for 50 years or more? What’s even worse is that I’ve heard Christian marriages are in more trouble than secular ones (not sure if that’s true). The secret to success is easier than we realize.
Marriage is not just something we throw away and forget it ever happened. Especially not when we say we claim to be Christ-followers. I understand our culture wants to move to find newer and better things constantly but you can’t do this in marriage. The Bible is our standard so we need to quit looking for excuses out of our marriages!
Marriage is not a dating game. You don’t just break up when you feel like it. When you say “I do,” you are making a commitment not just to your spouse, but to God! Your vows are a covenant with your spouse and God that you make “til death do us part.”
Does god want me to fight for my marriage?
What is a covenant? According to Merriam-Webster dictionary is: “a written agreement or promise usually under seal between two or more parties especially for the performance of some action.” You can find all kinds of covenants throughout the Bible and I can tell you one thing they had in common, they weren’t taken lightly! It’s a serious agreement that you make with someone else that requires your loyalty to keep your word.
Let me encourage you if you feel like throwing in the towel of your marriage, don’t! Marriage isn’t easy I understand but stop fighting your spouse and start fighting FOR your spouse.
When my husband and I were first married, we were both very stubborn and selfish. We had very different views and expectations of how marriage should be. Our marriage took a turn for the better when we stopped fighting against each other and started fighting for each other. We recognized the enemy wanted to tear us apart because God had great things in store for our lives together.
The enemy wants nothing more than to destroy your well-being through your relationship with your spouse. He wants to convince you that you’re married to the wrong person and life would be better with someone else. We need to start realizing that your spouse is NOT the enemy. God brought your spouse into your life for a reason.
Do you realize that when you’re fighting your spouse, you’re fighting yourself?
“So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.” Matthew 19:5-6
When you get married, you are no longer two, but one person. That means you literally become one even with all your differences. Selfishness is anti-oneness. Selfishness is the root of every sin. Remember to realign your thinking when you put yourself and your desires above your spouse.
How to get out of a marriage biblically?
“And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.” Matthew 19:9
Above in Matthew 19:9, I am simply quoting scripture from the Bible that is very clear on this subject. We are supposed to follow the Word of God still and not popular opinion, right? This isn’t to condemn you if you’ve already gotten divorced for different reasons than mentioned above. I’m sharing this with you in hopes of saving your current marriage and for some your future marriage.
Please don’t misunderstand me, I’m NOT saying you should put up with abuse in any form (physical, verbal, sexual, emotional, etc.). I’m NOT saying to let your spouse walk all over you. There’s a right way to handle things and a wrong way. Obviously use discernment, biblical understanding, prayer, and godly counsel. Don’t ever put yourself or your loved ones in harm’s way. 
Success In Marriage
One spouse who chooses to fight for their marriage can alter the course of their family for generations to come. They can start turning the tide of a negative and failing marriage into a thriving and intimate marriage. How? By showing grace and being loving even when they don’t feel like it. No this won’t always work but it’s better than throwing away your marriage.
God designed you and your spouse to complement each other. You have strengths and weaknesses that complement one another. Marriage wasn’t designed to drive us crazy but to bring joy and a helpmate. Someone who’s meant to have our back until the end.
The enemy has tried to turn marriage into dysfunctional chaos. Just look around at how many people you know that have gotten divorced. Oh how we easily forget the verse, “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms” Ephesians 6:12 (NIV). Your spouse is NOT the enemy!
Marriage became a blame game in the Garden of Eden. The good news is that Jesus came and died for us but didn’t leave us alone. He left His Holy Spirit to give us strength, wisdom, hope, and peace to overcome the enemy’s attacks. When we realize our spouse is not the enemy, it will be much easier to handle things more gracefully.
I believe another important key to success is not living by how you feel. We have to grow up and move beyond that if we want to live God-honoring lives. If I’m being honest, I don’t always feel like I’m madly in love with my husband. I don’t always feel like being kind when I’m in a bad mood. I have to choose to act better than I feel.
Join me in choosing to fight for your marriage today!
There will be more posts like this on marriage to come. Below is a song that moved me to write this post in the first place called “Fight For You” by Grayson Reed. If any of you have questions, concerns, or need prayer over your marriage, please let me know. You can comment on this post or email me at alattehope@gmail.com.
A Prayer For You
Lord, I come before you today on behalf of my marriage. I need You to guide me and my spouse in Your will for our lives. Please heal deep wounds and restore our marriage back to life. Show me how to be the wife you’ve called me to be. Help me to live beyond my feelings and always choose to fight for my marriage. In Jesus’ name, amen.
Stay hopeful friends!
Do you need prayer for your marriage? Comment below or email me at alattehope@gmail.com.
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5 Comments
I am a firm believer in everything you mentioned here, which is why I struggle on what should be done in a case of abuse? Verbal, physical any type. When every day you wake up and all your thoughts consist of painful debilitating words that your spouse has programmed you to believe? Normality is not an option because every situation causes anxiety and self hate and doubt.
Hi Michelle, I understand the dilemma. My mom was abused verbally and some physically by my dad. They went to several counselors and my dad finally admitted that he just told my mom what she wanted to hear but never would change and would quit going to counselors each time. Right or wrong I don’t know, but my parents were divorced and we were all glad to be out of the house and everything felt so much more peaceful, although we struggled financially. Then he passed away about a year later from cancer. Sometimes we just have to make a judgment call of what will be better for us and our families after lots of prayer. Then hopefully the Lord will give a peace about the correct course of action.
I go thou so much with my husband he says things that shouldn’t be said to a wife. Things like maybe I should sleep around on you. Then with a come back like the Lord knows what his goin thou like it would be on me that I would be the one to blame. I don’t understand if you are getting put down all the time or talked about Arguing all the time sex is the last thing on my mind he calls that submitted to what the Bible says. That I should be ready for sex when ever he wants it
Hi April, it sounds like you’re going through a difficult time and I’m so sorry about that. In marriage sometimes one spouse has more of a drive than the other. It’s important to meet in the middle and compromise so neither of you feels like your needs aren’t being met or ignored. It is also very important to be careful and have boundaries set for things to never say that cut deeply or threaten infidelity or divorce. We will be praying for you and your husband to get on the same page before things get worse. <3
I love this song! This is what I tell my wife. I am going to fight and I won’t give up. Please send your prayers