So growing up I didn’t exactly have the best father figure and male role model. I don’t mean to speak negatively about my father at all but it’s apart of my story and relates to this topic. He was what I call a superficial judge of others at times. Meaning, if they didn’t meet his standard of physical attractiveness, then he had no respect for that person and believed they wouldn’t make it far in life. I know it sounds pretty horrible and twisted, right?
What happened was, he bought into a lie (that many do) that looks are everything. It led the women in my family- my mom, sister and I- to have deep seeded insecurities. We were told we had areas of our bodies that were unattractive and needed to be changed.
This insecurity has trickled down and affected how we view our bodies. As if it wasn’t hard enough for women already when our standard of beauty portrayed by media is thousands of dollars of plastic surgery and while we’re at it, let’s just airbrush and remove any and all flaws. Basically, perfection is society’s standard of beauty.
My husband has been so kind and sweet with my insecurities. Thank God He has shown me how a man should view and treat a woman. Garrett believes God made us beautiful the way He intended. He has really helped me overcome my feelings of inadequacy as any man of God should. Anyone who tells you to doubt yourself or change your appearance absolutely has their heart in the wrong place. Ignore them!
I don’t know what your story is or if you want to change anything about yourself. Maybe you don’t have that desire and you already have a healthy outlook on yourself. If so, I’m so happy for you! But for those who would like to join me in learning how to love the skin you’re in, let’s look at these 5 truths…
- God knit you in your mother’s womb. “Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart.” Jeremiah 1:5.
- You were fearfully and wonderfully made. “I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” Psalm 139:14.
- God has created you on purpose with a specific call on your life to do wonderful things. “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11.
- God created you with the strengths (and weaknesses) you have for a reason. “We have different gifts, according to the grace given to each of us.” Romans 12:6.
- God completely cherishes and accepts you unconditionally right now in every way. “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8.
Recently, I had the privilege of studying a fantastic book with a great group of ladies that pertains to this topic. The book is called Uninvited: Living Loved When You Feel Less Than, Left Out, and Lonely by Lysa Terkeurst. Let me tell you I have laughed and learned so much! I encourage every woman to pick up a copy because whether we admit it or not, we all struggle with fear and rejection whether it’s real or perceived.
From Lysa’s book, I’ve learned that we can get completely self-absorbed in our own insecurity and miss out on God’s plans for our lives. We should instead, accept God’s truths about what He says about us when we are attacked in our mind. I know it’s hard not to compare your body to others but you’ve gotta stop. And we need to move past the lies we’ve heard spoken about us.
Trust me, I know it’s hard to move past lies that have been spoken to you. It’s literally ingrained in me to laugh instead of accepting a compliment from my husband. I’ve gotten better but I have to learn to say “thank you” when given a compliment instead of giving excuses for why it isn’t true.
“Rejection steals the best of who I am by reinforcing the worst of what’s been said to me. Rejection isn’t just an emotion we feel. It’s a message that’s sent to the core of who we are, causing us to believe lies about ourselves, others, and God.”
-Lysa Terkeurst
We need to start loving the skin we’re in instead of trying so hard to change it. Today is your chance to break free from those insecurities that plague your mind! Don’t you want freedom? I want you to wake up every morning and declare some truths to yourself.
Look in the mirror and say:
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
I am completely accepted for who I am.
I am treasured and loved unconditionally.
Only in Christ can you find the security and acceptance that you crave. No person or object can fill this void for you. No change that you make will ever satisfy your desire to be accepted. God accepts you as you are. He loves and treasures you as you are. God sees you and sees the beauty that you possess inside and out. It’s time to ignore the lies and begin loving yourself for who you are, not for who you wish to be!
A Prayer For You
I lay down my need to understand why things happen the way they do.
I lay down my fears about others walking away and taking their love with them.
I lay down my desire to prove my worth.
I lay down my resistance to fully trust Your thoughts, Your ways, and Your plans, Lord.
I lay down being so self-consumed in an attempt to protect myself.
I lay down my anger, unforgiveness, and stubborn ways that beg me to build walls when I sense hints of rejection.
I lay all these things down with my broken boards and ask that Your holy fire consume them until they become weightless ashes.
And as I walk away, my soul feels safe. Held. And truly free to finally be me.
~A Prayer from the book Invited by Lysa Terkeurst
Stay hopeful!
Have you read this book and if so, what were your thoughts on it?