Wow, I can feel you already judging me from this title! But trust me, it’s not what you think! Oh and excuse the cheesy pose above. That’s always my go-to awkward pose when someone is taking random pictures of me. Moving right along now…
You know the type of girls who are so obsessed with what other people think of them that they change their appearance? They do things to be accepted they would’ve never done before. Well, I’ve totally been that girl and I’m still recovering! Honestly, don’t we all have the tendency to care a little too much about what others think about us?
Now I’m not hating on blondes but I want to share an epiphany I had two months ago about myself with you…
So I’m just going to be real here. I’ve been bleaching my hair for 12 years. Why do you ask? I thought the blonde hair was prettier and I wanted to be prettier. Instead of accepting how God naturally made me, I wanted to upgrade myself because it wasn’t good enough for me.
Since that time I initially changed it, I kept going to the hair salon without giving it a second thought because my dark brown roots were showing and that just looks gross! It’s not the cute blended ombre look, it’s just dark roots clashing against the bright blonde. Plus, I didn’t want others to know I was faking my hair color (even though my eyebrows are dark brown and give that away anyway).
The bleach has been damaging my hair for 12 years now! Of course, the hairdressers and basically everyone warned me not to color it and damage my hair but I didn’t listen. Was it really worth the damage to feel like I was more beautiful with the blonde hair? No. Because my hair is frail and breaks easily when it used to be shiny, soft, and strong. I finally realized that what I was doing was hurting me more than anything.
So I told my husband Garrett my plans to get back to my natural hair color. He said he has always believed that whatever a woman’s natural hair color is, that color will always look prettier than changing it. At this point in the conversation, I rolled my eyes because I don’t think I’m as pretty with my natural hair color. He went on to say he believes God naturally makes us with our hair color to accent our features and complexion.
But my hair color wasn’t and isn’t the point. It was the need to change my appearance to accept myself. Hair hasn’t been the only thing I’ve wanted to change about myself… Garrett has really helped me accept my appearance because I had some mean things spoken over my body by those I trusted.
My epiphany was that I felt like all these years I was saying ‘God how you made me is not good enough, You must’ve made a mistake.’ Really though, how dare I question the God of the universe and take matters into my own hands. My insecurities were blinding me to the reality that I was created on purpose for a purpose.
I ultimately decided to let my hair be the color it naturally is and to accept myself for who I am. This is not to say coloring your hair is bad. I’m just sharing my own experience with you and again my point goes beyond hair color so please stay with me.
Everyone has this deep need to be loved and accepted. If you don’t feel like these needs are met, you feel unhappy. Simple as that. But it starts with realizing God already loves and accepts you, flaws and all. Then you can accept yourself because you were fearfully and wonderfully made by Him. On purpose. If you’re like me, you might be thinking there’s no way I can accept myself for who I am.
Maybe it’s not your hair color you struggle with and want to change. It might be a lisp you have, your physique, talents you think you lack, scars, or popularity you want to attain. Whatever it is, this feeling of dissatisfaction for yourself will leave you empty even if you change it. Until you fully accept yourself, flaws and all, you will always be left feeling empty. It takes a few baby steps in your thinking to have a healthy view of yourself, as shown below:
- Accepting yourself is the first step toward healing. You are beautiful how you are naturally. God made you on purpose with your appearance, talents, and even weaknesses. He skillfully and carefully crafted you in your mother’s womb and fully cherishes and accepts you for who you are. The REAL you. Not you striving to be accepted by others by changing it, but the organic you. If others don’t accept you for who you are, honestly that’s their loss. You don’t want toxic people around you to bring you down. Don’t change to be accepted or do things you are uncomfortable with.
- Start enjoying life doing things you are good at. Stop being consumed with “fixing your flaws”. It’s good to know your strengths and weaknesses but stop focusing on what you wish you could be and become who you were meant to be!
- Don’t let past rejections keep you from enjoying your life now! The rejection you’ve felt from past relationships and experiences doesn’t mean you’re a failure! It means you’re one step closer to finding your calling in life. Nothing is worse than giving up hope. Hope produces strength in character that goes beyond circumstances. Rise above your past and even your current circumstances and don’t give up hope!
What will happen if you take these 3 baby steps?
Naturally, you’ll notice that your sense of well-being and your appreciation for life will change. Seeing other’s success and beauty won’t intimidate you like it once did. You can genuinely be happy for others because you are confident in who you are. You are now actively striving to be the organic beautiful and strong woman of God that you were called to be.
“For You formed my inward parts;
You wove me in my mother’s womb.
I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Wonderful are Your works,
And my soul knows it very well.
My frame was not hidden from You,
When I was made in secret,
And skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth;
Your eyes have seen my unformed substance;
And in Your book were all written
The days that were ordained for me,
When as yet there was not one of them.”
Psalm 139:13-16
A Prayer For You
Lord, thank You for creating me and treasuring me. Forgive me for doubting You and myself. Help me to replace lies of unworthiness with Your truth that I am loved and accepted. I choose to trust You and know that You have plans to bring me hope and a future. In Jesus’ name, amen.