Til’ Death Do Us Part – Part 3 – What If Your Spouse Is Unwilling to Put in the Effort?

In the event, your spouse is unwilling to fight for your marriage anymore, what do you do? Don’t let the enemy steal, kill, and destroy your family without a fight. If you missed Part 1 & Part 2 of this series, go check them out! 

You’d be surprised how things can change when God happens to your marriage. Prayer and kindness can go a long way and change the trajectory of your marriage in time. I’m not a marriage expert but I know a house divided won’t stand but still, I urge you to not give up. Remember that you and your spouse and no longer two but one in marriage now.

5 Things You Can Do When Your Spouse Throws In the Towel

1. Pray for them – if you aren’t already doing this, start NOW.
2. Build them up with compliments & kill them with kindness.
3. Keep trying even when they aren’t.
4. Take trips down memory lane to remember the good times. 
5. The grass isn’t greener on the other side. 

You can be the difference that saves your marriage when your spouse has given up. Are you praying for your spouse and for your marriage? If not start now. I’m not talking angry cursing prayers but prayers that the Lord would soften your spouse’s heart towards you and your marriage. That your marriage will thrive like never before. Get as specific as you need to about things. You should probably do a heart check and ask God if there’s anything you need to do differently while you’re at it.

Building up your spouse instead of tearing them down is essential. Speak to them in a way that compliments them for what they are doing and for who you want them to be. For example, thank them for their hard work and leadership in the home even if they’re lacking in those areas. Naturally, your spouse might start to fulfill those roles that they were weak in as you talk them up.

When’s the last time you talked about your favorite times with your spouse or even thought about it? When is the last time you both went to where you first met or to a spot with a romantic memory? Those kinds of things can spark interest again and can help you from throwing in the towel as you continue fighting for your marriage.

We don’t always feel like cleaning the dishes or going to work but we still do. We don’t always feel like paying our bills but we have to in order to keep the lights on. We won’t always feel like loving our spouse but when we do, it’s worth it. Even if they aren’t reciprocating.

No spouse will ever be perfect. If you think the grass will be greener with another spouse, it most likely won’t. There will be other issues you run into and have to deal with in any relationship. It’s better to stay the course of your marriage and work at it if at all possible, especially when children are involved.

When my parents divorced, it was for the better but that didn’t make the pain any less painful. It literally felt like a death in the family because it was that- a death of a family. I had no idea how painful it truly was until I experienced it as a 21-year-old. Then my little sister was tossed back and forth with visitations adding insult to injury. If divorce can be avoided and no actual harm is being done, please I beg you to stay in it. 

What bothers me most is when people get divorced for a petty reason that feelings or people have changed or that you’re interested in someone else. Nip that in the bud and fight for your marriage! Don’t let anyone or anything come between you and your spouse!

“What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” Mark 10:9

Ultimately it is you who will stand before God for what you did or didn’t do in your marriage. When we treat our spouse with love, respect, and care as God wants us to treat each other, we’re doing our part to hold our marriages and families together through thick and thin. Again, don’t let the enemy steal, kill, and destroy your family without a fight even if it’s only you fighting at first. Things can turn around so hold out hope.

Stay hopeful!

I highly recommend the American Association of Christian Counselors as a resource you can trust to find the right counselor for your specific circumstances.

Who Do You Have Holding Your Arms Up?